My self-love journey, it's harder than it looks...

here’s the truth behind the photo:

I had been debating on what to wear because half of my leggings and sports bras are a little too tight and feel uncomfortable for me right now, and I got this set recently in a size up than normal and it fit much better. @emmaecorbett_ and I woke up early and snagged these shots at 6:40 am on a Saturday. I was rethinking my playlist wondering if it was good enough.

Whenever I get on stage to teach and there are new riders, I have to try hard not to let myself think “I’m not the image of a fitness professional they thought they signed up for”. When I’m teaching I go between thinking about sucking in my stomach and not because my abs look like they may exist when I do but I have better breath control when I don’t. I’m thinking ok, I’m an instructor whose favorite and main source of exercise was taken away for about a year, and gained weight and lost stamina because of it. I still want to teach the caliber of class I used to in 2019 but I’m not back there yet. I’m working on it but damn 🥵.

Everyone has been telling me I exude confidence for years so much so that I try to help people work on theirs on my Instagram. Keeping it real, I’m not feeling very confident these days. I’m trying to avoid the comparison game. Comparing my current self to my past self and comparing to others. I’m working hard and trying to control what I can control in a world that seems to change daily.

Getting these photos back was the first time I have been happy with a pic in what feels like forever. I almost felt like I was back to the bad bitch I used to feel like all the time before covid came and messed everything up. And for that, I’m so grateful for Emma ✨.

I know it may look like I have it all together on the outside, it’s the nature of Instagram. I’m going to try to be more real with you all because I like when the people I follow aren’t perfect all the time. It makes me feel more normal.

Love you, mean it 💛